The Evolution of Purpose
This is about mortality and professional purpose but hopefully isn't depressing.
Photo by Pascal van de Vendel on Unsplash
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My cousin died last month (f*ck cancer fo' real). I'm still working through my feelings and grief (don't worry, this isn't going to be a journal entry...probably), but the thing that keeps coming up for me is the last conversation we had, which has been percolating for weeks now.
My cousin was a few years younger than me and was basically a second brother. He was a doctor and when my mom told me he was going into hospice the idea I kept coming back to was sadness that he wouldn't get to be a doctor for longer. He worked so hard and for so long and it seemed a real shame that he wouldn't get to practice medicine for longer. I knew even then that it was an irrational fixation distracting me from his imminent demise but the feeling was no less real.
When I got a moment alone with him I told him about that line of thinking and we laughed a bit about the brain's capacity to protect itself. In the middle of that, I jokingly said I didn't even know if he was a *good* doctor, I was just sort of assuming that was the case. So I asked him. He said, "No, I'm not a good doctor." *dramatic pause* "I'm a great doctor." We laughed. He kept going. "But that isn't my main purpose right now."
I was a little unsure where he was going with that and asked what is. He said that his focus was on helping people that have been thrust into a caretaker role (like his girlfriend). They didn't sign up for that, but there they are, taking care of someone through something really difficult. There are so many emotions involved in that kind of situation and come out in a lot of unpredictable ways for both caretaker and patient. To that end he'd been writing and recording videos on the topic over the prior 6 years. I thought it was a really interesting way to create something good out of a situation filled with so much pain and sadness. We talked about things in that vein for a few more minutes before I left him to rest.
My cousin died the next day. I found out a few days after he passed that his former hospital was going to incorporate his material as part of their program for new residents. While he's gone his observations/teachings will live on.
Not every role is going to be one where you can align your mind, heart, and soul. Sometimes a job is just a job. And what once fulfilled us isn't necessarily what fulfills us now. Still, it's good to have a sense of what would be ideal. There isn't even a singular answer, this seems like it should be an ongoing conversation we have with ourselves (or with help if we need it). You change over time. So do your professional needs (along with your personal and physical ones). Ideally we're able to adjust our career to meet those needs as they evolve. Something to consider as we start to fill in the blank slate of the new year.
Homework:
As you navigate your career here are some questions to keep in mind. Take the answers and adjust your approach accordingly. The answers might also serve you in conversations with supervisors, hiring managers, and therapists.
How engaged are you in the work you do? What would make you more or less engaged? Why?
What problem is eternally fascinating to you?
What leaves you fulfilled at the end of the day?
What's the common denominator between your favorite roles?
Helping people understand the prevailing themes of their career is some of my favorite work. There's magic in uncovering those ideas and the conversations that follow can be as helpful as they are illuminating. If you need an outside ear to help you go through this exercise, please reach out.