Friend of the Nod: Q&A with Rachel Gabrielle, Psychotherapist

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A quick Q&A with Rachel Gabrielle, psychotherapist, about the mental health ramifications of job searching and layoffs.

Rachel Gabrielle is a Seattle-based psychotherapist that serves women working through various mental health issues. She asked me to do a Q&A for her blog so I sent her some in kind.

What are some of the most common themes you've heard from people that have been laid off or are otherwise looking for work?
There is some fear that the job landscape is changing, which brings anxiety about being marketable, but a lot of people are seeing layoffs as an opportunity! People are wanting to feel valued, they want to find more meaning in their work, they want flexibility, and a lot of people want to transition to something else entirely. The pandemic has woken people up to the idea that time is their most valuable resource and they’re re-assessing how and where they’re spending it.

Another thing I’m hearing a lot is that people are trying to make sense of these layoffs. They are trying to predict whether or not they’ll get let go, and they are spending a lot of mental energy personalizing it in a way that I understand, but is probably fruitless. For instance, people over working in effort to prove that they’re a valuable asset worth keeping. 

For all of the talk about Great Resignation and quiet quitting, have you seen a shift in the relationship people have with their work?
I work with a lot of people-pleasing women, so I’m not seeing much movement here. People like the idea of quiet quitting, but more commonly, I’m seeing people feel guilty for divorcing their work, or worried that they’ll get passed up for promotion if they don’t continue to overperform. 

In this job climate are you noticing any notable differences specific to people working in tech?
I don’t really have any great insight here. I think everyone is worried right now because things are changing in general. It’s just the degree in which they’re worried might be different. The difference I’m noticing isn’t related to a specific field, it’s more generational/age related. Younger people who are in their first careers or jobs seem more anxiety-ridden about the future of work than older folks. I think this is because the elder millennials and beyond have experienced economic downturns and changes before and have come out the other side, but the younger workers haven’t. 

What advice would you give to someone deep in a job search to help them take care of themselves?
It’s really easy to let your job search take over your life and to become pretty demoralized. A lot of people will say to make looking for a job your full time job but I disagree. Make yourself a schedule and set aside a few hours a day or each week to work on your materials, applications, networking, etc., but have boundaries with yourself. Do something each day you find enjoyable that takes your mind off of your search and gives you a break.

In the longer term, you can use this opportunity to work on your relationship to rejection as finding work can sometimes be a numbers game. You won’t be right for everything you apply for, you won’t want everything you apply for, and you might get passed up for no good reason. Lastly, find some community and reach out to people because this can be an incredibly isolating time. 

Other than layoffs, one of the biggest employment topics is companies forcing people back to the office. Is that coming up in your work?

Yes. Other than a few outliers, most people do not want to go back to the office, and they are definitely upset about it. I think this is really about choice, freedom, and trust. People want the choice to work in whatever way works best for them. People want the freedom to prioritize their day in a way that allows them to take care of themselves in ways an in-office 9-5 makes difficult. And people want to be trusted that they can design and implement their own best practices when it comes to how they work. This is obviously causing people to take a look at their needs and make employment decisions that better suit their quality of life and I’m all for it.